This Week's Clutter

I began decluttering on Wednesday, February 4, 2009. Here's what I've tossed so far, and the results I've noticed:

Wednesday:

I took out a pair of shoes that I wore for years. They were the most comfortable, nice shoes I have ever had. I had them reheeled several times, and even had the heels reset once or twice when they were loose. Finally, the stitching at the toes came loose and could not be repaired. I couldn't bear to part with these shoes - for at least three years I kept hoping I could find a shoe repairman who could mend the holes. But after reading "Clutter's Last Stand," I finally got the resolve to let them go. I said thank you to them and left them down in my building lobby in the hopes that someone's kids would take them for dress up shoes.

I also took three magazines to the lobby: Two New York Magazines that I had been intending to read since last year, and one other, I can't even remember now what it was! How's that for junk?

Thursday:

I took out an old umbrella with Mercer Mayer cats all over it, that had a couple of bent arms, that had been given to me by a friend when I needed an umbrella. I had kept it cuz I felt it was hers and it looked like a collector's item. Also took out a postcard or coupon or something that I can't remember! How silly. I can see it being propped up against the wall in the lobby, but not what it is! These two ended up in the lobby as well.

About half an hour after I took these out, I was on the train and a crazy man was hassling me a bit. A man in the seat next to me asked "Miss, would you like to sit down?" I gratefully accepted, and he got up and put himself between me and the slightly scary other guy. Here's a complete stranger, protecting a damsel in distress. I was touched as this is not something that happens to me often.

I think that my willingness to let go of the crap that's blocking the flow in my life contributed to having this experience of being protected by a man. It allowed the space for this to happen. I've been protecting myself for a loooongg time. Allowing someone to come to my aid requires vulnerability and I'm not good at that. But letting go of junk is also an act of vulnerability. So the space was there.

Friday:

To the lobby: A broken silver eye mask like you would wear to a masquerade. The string was gone and I had this thing hanging up in my closet as a decoration. Also a can of fabric protectant. Might have been useful to someone.

Today:

I threw away the tassels from my graduation from Rogue Community College. They were hanging up in the closet with that mask. The one with the school colors of blue and green had faded to a weird mauve. I had no problem chucking these two.

I also acknowledged some old resentments that I've been pretending weren't there. Emotions can also be clutter, and old hurts or grievances. Just letting go of pretending it wasn't there was freeing.